Friendly Faces

Friendly Faces

When I was a child, it was usually obvious who the authority figures were.

The teacher was the authority.

The police officer was the authority.

The doctor was the authority.

The government official was the authority.

You might have liked it or disliked it, but at least you knew where you stood.

Today something has changed.

Not the power.

The language.

Build Systems That Can Correct Themselves

Build Systems That Can Correct Themselves

Many people spend their lives looking for the answer.

The right philosophy.

The right diet.

The right career.

The right relationship.

The right political ideology.

The right productivity method.

The right supplement.

The assumption behind all these searches is simple: if we can just find the correct answer, life will finally fall into place.

The problem is that life keeps changing.

The Difference Between "God Believed" and Faith

The Difference Between "God Believed" and Faith

One of the most provocative statements Werner Erhard reportedly made during est was:

"God believed is a lie."

At first glance, it sounds like an attack on religion.

I no longer think it is.

In fact, I suspect it points toward a distinction that many religious traditions have understood for centuries.

The distinction between believing in something and living it.

A person can believe in God.

A person can attend church every Sunday.

A person can quote scripture from memory.

A person can discuss theology for hours.

And yet none of it may have much effect on how they treat their spouse, their children, their neighbours, or the stranger standing in front of them.

The Apocalypse Will Not Be Trending

The Apocalypse Will Not Be Trending

The apocalypse will not be trending.

It will not arrive with sirens.

It will not interrupt your programming.

It will not appear as breaking news.

There will be no dramatic music.

No countdown clock.

No final warning.

The apocalypse will not crash the system.

The apocalypse will be the system.

Reducing the Gap Between Map and Territory

Reducing the Gap Between Map and Territory

One of the most important tasks in life is reducing the gap between our map and the territory.

The territory is reality.

The map is our understanding of reality.

The problem is not merely that our map is incomplete. The deeper problem is that we often forget it is a map at all.

We assume that what we see is what is there.

More importantly, we assume that the way we see is the only possible way of seeing.

Most conflicts begin at precisely this point.

Phenomenology starts with a simple but radical observation:

Perhaps my map is not the territory.

The Unexpected Lesson of Marte Meo

The Unexpected Lesson of Marte Meo

Many years ago, when my daughter was still very young, I came across the Dutch approach known as Marte Meo.

The name means "by one's own strength," and the method is often used with children and families. One of its central ideas is surprisingly simple.

Instead of merely doing things, you narrate what you are doing.

You make the invisible visible.

You tell the child what is happening.

You explain what you are about to do.

You describe what you see.

You provide a running commentary that helps the child understand the situation and your intentions.

At first glance, this may seem unnecessary.

The Olive Oil Problem

The Olive Oil Problem

Years ago, I met a man who was convinced that drinking large amounts of olive oil was good for his joints.

Not olive leaf extract.

Not a specialized supplement.

Olive oil.

The kind most people pour over a salad.

At first, I assumed I had misunderstood him. Surely he meant some supplement derived from olive oil.

No.

He meant olive oil.

What made the conversation interesting was that he was not an obvious fool. He was fit, disciplined, and regularly competed in triathlons. He looked healthy and energetic.

And he was absolutely certain he knew what he was talking about.

After a while, I stopped arguing.

The Myth of Authenticity

The Myth of Authenticity

For a long time, I misunderstood authenticity.

Like many people, I believed that being authentic meant showing up exactly as I was, regardless of the situation. If I preferred casual clothes, I wore casual clothes. If I disliked formalities, I ignored them. If a room expected a certain kind of behavior, that was the room's problem, not mine.

There was something noble in that idea.

There was also something childish.

When I was younger, I worked for a very wealthy person. Looking back, I was far more casual than the environment demanded. I often looked as if I had wandered into the office by accident. I did not particularly care. Part of me saw this as a point of principle.

Surprisingly, it worked.

The family liked me. Some people even found it refreshing.

The management was less enthusiastic.

The Underrated Art of Boredom

The Underrated Art of Boredom

During my years as a social worker, I noticed something curious: many children seemed to have busier schedules than I did.

Music lessons, sports clubs, tutoring, scouts, homework, birthday parties, school events. Each activity made sense on its own. Each was intended to help the child grow. Yet I sometimes had the impression that I was looking at a twelve-year-old with the calendar of a middle manager.

Modern childhood seems haunted by a peculiar fear: the fear of empty space.

As soon as a child has nothing scheduled, adults begin searching for something to fill the gap. A hobby. A course. A camp. An activity. Anything.

Boredom has become a problem to solve.

I am not sure it is.

Playing Yesterday's Game

Playing Yesterday's Game

The Peter Principle is one of those ideas that is so simple and intuitive that people repeat it endlessly. Employees are promoted until they reach a position where they are no longer competent. The excellent engineer becomes a mediocre manager. The gifted teacher becomes an ineffective administrator. The successful salesperson becomes a poor executive.

The theory is appealing because it often appears true.

The problem is that it mistakes a change of game for a loss of competence.

Many people do not become incompetent after promotion. They remain highly capable. What changes is not their intelligence or their work ethic, but the environment in which those qualities must operate. An engineer is promoted because she solves technical problems. Management requires her to solve human problems. A salesperson succeeds by closing deals. Leadership requires him to build systems and develop people. The skills that made them successful have not disappeared. They have simply become less relevant.

The Peter Principle assumes that people rise until they encounter their limitations. What often happens is more subtle. People rise until the environment stops rewarding their strengths.

This distinction matters because success and adaptation are not the same thing.

What They Are

What They Are

While reading about the early years of the Soviet Union, I came across an observation that stayed with me.

The communists often claimed that the capitalist West hated them.

There was some truth in that. Western governments opposed communist regimes and feared their expansion. They disliked the censorship, the political repression, the secret police, the labor camps, and the revolutionary violence.

In other words, much of the opposition was directed at what communist governments did.

The communists often saw things differently.

For many of them, the problem was not simply what capitalists did.

The problem was that they were capitalists.

The problem was not merely what landlords did.

The problem was that they were landlords.

The problem was not merely what the bourgeoisie did.

The problem was that they were bourgeois.

This may sound like a subtle distinction.

It is not.

A Thousand Small Choices

A Thousand Small Choices

A wasted life does not happen in a day.

It does not arrive with sirens.

Not with a thunderclap.

Not with a dramatic mistake.

It arrives quietly.

In a thousand small choices.

Tomorrow.

Next week.

Someday.

Just this once.

Not today.

Practical Phenomenology

Practical Phenomenology


When most people hear the word "phenomenology," their eyes begin to glaze over.

It sounds like something that belongs in a philosophy department somewhere between German idealism and an overdue dissertation.

Which is unfortunate.

Because stripped of its technical language, phenomenology may be one of the most practical tools available for everyday life.

Phenomenology begins with a surprisingly simple idea:

Before we explain something, let's look at it.

That is all.

The Strange Case of est

The Strange Case of est

During the 1970s, hundreds of thousands of people attended a controversial personal development program called est, short for Erhard Seminars Training. Created by Werner Erhard, the program placed participants in highly structured weekend seminars that combined confrontation, self-observation, group exercises, and relentless inquiry into the ways people created the realities they experienced.

Critics regarded it as manipulative. Supporters described it as life-changing. Half a century later, people are still arguing about what it actually was.

Part of the reason for this confusion is that est resembles several familiar traditions without fully belonging to any of them.

When I first encountered est, I naturally tried to place it within categories I already understood. It seemed to share certain features with phenomenology, mindfulness, and Zen. Participants were encouraged to observe their thoughts, examine their emotions, and become aware of the stories through which they interpreted their lives. Anyone familiar with meditation immediately recognizes the terrain.

Yet the deeper I looked, the less convincing these comparisons became.

The Difference Between Phenomenology, Mindfulness, and Zen

The Difference Between Phenomenology, Mindfulness, and Zen

Spend enough time around philosophy, meditation, or personal development circles and you will eventually hear the same advice:

Pay attention.

Observe your thoughts.

Notice what is happening.

Become aware.

At first glance, phenomenology, mindfulness, and Zen appear to be pointing in the same direction.

In reality, they are pursuing three very different projects.

They begin with the same invitation.

Look.

But they do not arrive at the same destination.

The Hidden Curriculum of Bad Days

The Hidden Curriculum of Bad Days

My twelve-year-old daughter had the day off school.

The teachers had a conference, which meant that while adults sat in a room discussing education, the children received a rare day of freedom.

What I did not realize at the time was that both of us were about to receive an education.

So we decided to drive to Germany.

My daughter wanted to go to Konstanz. Normally, I am not a great fan of Konstanz. It has become something of a shopping destination for Swiss people. Still, she wanted to go, so off we went.

The first sign that the day would not go according to plan appeared shortly after we arrived.

The shopping center was closed.

At first I noticed only one closed bakery.

Being a social worker who spends perhaps a little too much time thinking about economic decline and the peculiar direction Europe sometimes seems to be heading, I immediately developed a theory.

"Another bankruptcy," I announced confidently.

One Large Important Button

One Large Important Button

I recently stumbled across a product called the Keychron Q0 Mini 8K Action Key.

At first, I genuinely had no idea what I was looking at.

It appeared to be exactly what it looked like: a single gigantic keyboard key. One enormous mechanical button machined from aluminum, glowing softly like the launch control system of a private nuclear submarine.

So naturally I had to investigate.

The deeper I looked into it, the more it stopped feeling like a gadget and started feeling like a cultural artifact.

The idea behind it is almost absurdly simple. Modern computers have become so layered, abstract, and overloaded with invisible processes that somebody finally decided human beings need one giant programmable button they can physically slam with satisfaction.

One button. One action. One visible consequence.

You can mute your microphone. Launch software. Trigger macros. Shut things down. Activate entire chains of commands. The details hardly matter.

What matters is the feeling.

SLAM.

My Next-Door Neighbor

My Next-Door Neighbor


My next-door neighbors are a large Swiss family.

They have lived next to me for more than ten years.

We greet each other when we meet. Beyond that, our lives mostly run in parallel.

Except for one member of the family.

His name is Ernst.

I call him Ernesto.

I have no idea why. He is about as Swiss-looking as a person can be, but somehow "Ernesto" stuck and he seems amused by it.

He is over ninety years old.

I consider him a friend.

This is slightly surprising because, on paper, we have very little in common.

Ernst spends much of his day reading the Bible.

I am not much of a Christian.

There Is No Donald Trump

There Is No Donald Trump

People still talk about Donald Trump as though he were a person standing inside politics.

That already misses what happened.

Donald Trump still exists, of course. There is a man somewhere carrying that name. But the symbolic organism called Trump has become vastly larger than the human being underneath it.

Ask ten people who Trump is and you receive ten mutually incompatible realities.

To some, he is the father who finally punches back against managerial elites.

To others, he is the collapse of democracy in human form.

To others, a billionaire outlaw, a troll, a chaos magician, a living meme, an American Napoleon, a reality-TV superorganism feeding on outrage.

At some point the symbolic overload became so extreme that the original human being effectively disappeared beneath it.

The symbolic Trump became more historically significant than the biological Trump.

The Importance of the First Assumption

The Importance of the First Assumption

Paul Watzlawick became famous for his work on communication, misunderstanding, and the realities people create through language. Less well known is how much of his intellectual toolkit came from Gregory Bateson, the anthropologist and systems thinker whose influence runs quietly beneath much of modern psychology.

Bateson spent much of his life asking a deceptively simple question:

How do human beings come to believe what they believe?

Most people assume the process is straightforward.

We observe reality.

We think about it.

We reach conclusions.

Bateson suspected the process was stranger than that.

Recently, I watched a small version of it unfold in real time.

My daughter came home upset.

Several girls from her friend group had gone to the swimming pool.

Without her.

At first, this was merely a fact.

The girls had gone swimming.

She had not.

Nothing more.

Then came the first assumption.

"They didn't invite me."

What happened next was fascinating.

Friendly Faces

Friendly Faces When I was a child, it was usually obvious who the authority figures were. The teacher was the authority. The police officer ...

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