The Comfort of Being Run Over by a Tram
Southern Germany had somewhat of a meteor shower last night. Swiss newspapers reported on it: The good news is that the probability of being hit by a meteor is extremely small. Experts reassure us that such events are rare. Even when fragments fall, they usually land somewhere harmless. Sometimes they create a hole in a roof, occasionally they even land in a bedroom, but injuries are very unusual.
This is reassuring. The Swiss Confederation can relax.
Because for a moment there was a disturbing possibility: that we might be struck by something completely beyond our control. Something from space. Something that does not respect insurance policies, municipal regulations, or building permits.
Fortunately, we still have the tram. A newspaper article tells us that the chances are higher to get hit by a tram than a meteor. This is assuring. Being run over by a tram is a far more civilized fate. It fits into the Swiss system. There are procedures. There are forms. There are investigations. And above all, there are insurers.
If a tram runs you over, the first question is clear: who pays?
But if a meteor comes from the sky and punches a hole through your roof, things become more complicated. One can imagine the first Swiss reaction.
Not panic.
Not existential reflection.
But a quiet, practical thought any Swiss would have first:
Is this covered by insurance?
Imagine this: Somewhere in Kleinbasel, a Swiss homeowner stands under a hole in his roof, holding a small smoking stone that has travelled for billions of years through the solar system. It survived the birth of planets, cosmic collisions, and the vacuum of space.
And now it has arrived at its final destination: a Swiss insurance case.
The man calls Mobiliar insurance.
“Grüezi. I have a small question. A meteorite came through my roof.”
A pause on the other end of the line.
“Yes, but was it authorized?”
“Authorized?”
“Did it have a permit to enter Swiss airspace?” There are different forms for each case. The meteorite must first be classified.
Was it an act of God?
A natural hazard?
Or an unregistered extraterrestrial construction project?
The cosmos, usually well behaved, may still be a bit too chaotic for the Swiss.
But Switzerland will find a way to regulate it.