Why Some Kids Stop Being Kids
It was one of those Swiss Saturdays where every shopping center feels like a small riot.
Too bright. Too loud. Too many special offers. Too many people moving fast and thinking slowly.
My almost twelve year old daughter and I walked through it together, just trying to survive the noise.
Around us were kids her age, but they looked like smaller versions of adults. Handbags. Poses. Forced confidence.
Looks and outfits shaped for a life still far ahead of them.
Then she asked a question that cut right through the chaos:
There was no judgement in her voice. Only honest confusion.
We walked on. It was just like her to notice. I held her question for a moment, and the answer began to take shape.
Kids stop being kids when childhood does not feel safe.
A child who feels seen and understood can stay in their age without hurry. A child who feels overlooked starts searching for an exit. And the quickest exit is imitation.
Copying adults becomes a shortcut to feeling respected.
Acting older becomes a shield.
Pretending confidence becomes a way to survive.
It is not hunger for adulthood that drives them.
It is the fear of not being seen.
We passed people arguing, staring at their phones, dragging tired kids behind them. My daughter watched the other children, and I watched her watching them. She was trying to understand why they all seemed so guarded, so rehearsed.
And something became clear.
A child reaches for adulthood only when they feel they cannot rely on one.
When a kid has parents they trust, they do not need to pretend. They do not need masks or poses. They can just be who they are.
So I told her what I was thinking. Some children do not have someone who listens to them. Some never feel taken seriously in their own skin. Some act older because nobody protects the younger version of them.
When a child has someone steady, they grow at their own pace. When they do not, they try to grow up overnight.