Case Number: Revolution
Switzerland had its little revolution last weekend.
Five thousand in Bern, mostly young, mostly masked, chanting the eternal slogans of moral certainty.
Antifa, climate militants, vandals.
The country’s last architects of chaos.
They threw bottles, shouted for Palestine, tried to break through police barricades.
And the government did what it does best: filled out forms.
Ban Antifa. Monitor phone calls.
If parents brought kids, call the KESB.
KESB: the Swiss Child and Adult Protection Agency.
Created for abuse, neglect, self-endangerment.
Now responsible for political demonstrations.
A characteristically Swiss solution: treat dissent as a social work problem.
Every thrown brick assigned a case number.
Every rebel with an assigned guardian.
Here in Switzerland, rebellion is properly managed.
We don’t crack skulls. We open files.
Apply for permission to overthrow capitalism.
In triplicate. With supporting documents.
The authorities will reply,
“Request denied. Lack of clear project goals.”
The main problem remains: emptiness.
A system so hygienic it sterilized its own soul.
A youth so furious it attacks nothing in particular.
Switzerland: Where the revolution ends with an after-action report and a recommendation for family counseling.