How to Survive an Overbearing School System Without Losing Your Sanity
At some point in the last decade, schools stopped just educating kids and started running entire households.
You’ve seen it—the endless emails, the last-minute schedule changes, the urgent messages about things that are neither urgent nor particularly relevant. And, of course, the subtle but persistent suggestion that as a parent, you should be deeply involved in everything—but only in the way they approve.
Modern education has become less about learning and more about managing expectations—theirs, not yours.
It is a world where every event is an opportunity for a "learning experience," every outing requires extensive parental feedback, and somehow, despite all the talking about how independent children should become, parents are expected to supervise every step of the process.
And like any good bureaucratic system, schools thrives on urgency, inefficiency, and an inability to admit when something is unnecessary. But there is more: Schools within government bureaucracies occupy a unique and almost untouchable position.
Unlike other public institutions—the tax office, the vehicle registration bureau, or any other administrative branch—schools don’t just see themselves as service providers. They believe they hold the moral high ground, shaping the next generation, instilling values, and guiding society itself.
This self-perception creates an unspoken hierarchy. Unlike a tax official who enforces regulations without personal attachment, school administrators and teachers often take any critique as an attack on their authority, their mission, even their personal integrity.
To challenge a school’s decision isn’t seen as a procedural issue—it’s treated as a failure to appreciate the institution. In short, the schools aren’t just enforcing rules, they believe they are the rule.
So why do I think I’m qualified to answer the question of how to survive an overbearing school system?
Frist of all, I’m a single parent—I’ve navigated the endless school messages, I have dealt with wonderfully complex teachers and fought the battles that every engaged parent knows too well. Second, I’ve been on the other side of the table—I worked as a school social worker, so I kind of know how the system operates. Third, I’ve seen what happens when institutions fail young people entirely—I worked in a mental hospital for kids and teenagers, where I witnessed firsthand what happens when the pressure, contradictions, and absurdities of modern education push vulnerable students to their breaking point. And fourth, I actually studied this stuff—I have a background in social work, public governance, and philosophy. People say philosophy is impractical. I say the real impractical ones are those trying to navigate life without it.
Now back to the things themselves: At some point in the last decade, schools stopped just educating kids and started running entire households.
You’ve seen it—the last-minute schedule changes, the urgent messages about things that are neither urgent nor particularly relevant. And, of course, the subtle but persistent suggestion that as a parent, you should be deeply involved in everything—but only in the way the teachers approve.
Modern education has become less about learning and more about managing expectations—the school's, not yours.
It is a world where every event is an opportunity for a "learning experience," every outing requires extensive parental feedback, and somehow, despite all the talking about how independent children should become, parents are expected to supervise every step of the process.
Louis Althusser, the French philosopher, had a name for this: the Ideological State Apparatus.
Schools aren’t just there to teach reading and math; they’re there to shape people into obedient citizens. If they were just inefficient, it would be one thing—but it’s worse than that. They demand constant participation while never really letting you have a say.
The deeper problem, though, is not just the logistics—it’s the way schools train dependency.
Jacques Rancière’s The Ignorant Schoolmaster challenges the traditional notion that learning requires an expert teacher to transmit knowledge to a passive student. Instead, Rancière tells the story of Joseph Jacotot, a 19th-century educator who accidentally discovered that students could teach themselves if given the right motivation and resources. Forced to instruct Flemish students in French—a language he couldn’t translate for them—Jacotot simply gave them a French book and told them to figure it out. To his surprise, they succeeded.
From this, Rancière made a radical observation: learning does not require experts. A student is perfectly capable of teaching themselves if they are given the tools and motivation. But schools today operate on the opposite assumption—that knowledge must be packaged, spoon-fed, and structured so carefully that there is no room for exploration.
The unspoken message is clear: without us, you cannot learn.
This is why students, instead of tackling problems themselves, now reflexively ask for step-by-step guidance. It’s also why they panic if an answer isn’t immediately obvious. Schools create dependency, not intellectual curiosity.
The strangest part of modern schooling, though, is how it has blurred the lines between teaching and raising children.
Schools now see themselves as responsible for shaping values, overseeing social development, and, in some cases, even setting the moral compass of their students.
If you push back, they frame it as concern for your child’s well-being. If you refuse to comply, they act bewildered, as if saying no is a personal attack on the institution itself.
There’s no need to argue—just remind them, in small ways, that you are the parent.
Schools function on the assumption that parents will cave under pressure. But bureaucracy is a two-way street. If they love paperwork, you should give it to them.
Just respectfully toss a little sand in the gears.
Althusser warned us that schools don’t just educate—they shape ideology.
Rancière warned us that education should not require submission.
The modern school system is flawed for sure, but it is not all-powerful. Parents still have a role to play, and that role is not to be unpaid staff for a failing bureaucracy.
The real act of resistance is not making dramatic speeches at parent meetings.
It is simply refusing to let the system run your life.