The 4.6-Star Prison
My eleven-year-old daughter read The Count of Monte Cristo and asked if the Château d’If was real. We checked. It was. A fortress in the sea, stone built for despair. Then she laughed.
Her question hung there, funny, yes, but also cruelly honest. Why do we rate everything now, even ruin, even sorrow?
The reviews felt like whispers from another world. “Beautiful view of Marseille.” “Nice boat ride.” One complained about the stairs. And I imagined the one that wasn’t there:
1 star review: Edmond Dantès: “Unjustly imprisoned. Staff indifferent. No light. Would not recommend.”
Once, the Château d’If stood for inescapable confinement. Now it’s a destination with Wi-Fi.
Maybe that is the final irony: The past turned into an attraction, cruelty repackaged as "Passion Monuments Loyalty Program."